The Art of Motherhood, Sales and Negotiations

I will never forget my first car buying experience.  I was getting ready to graduate college, was starting to interview for my first “professional” job and my car at the time was 17 years old.  It was time.  I enthusiastically wound my way through the maze of shiny cars at the Toyota dealership like a kid searching through presents on Christmas morning as I was approached by a salesperson.  We had the standard exchange of “What are you looking for?” to which I replied that I wasn’t quite sure yet but wanted to find out my options.  I knew I wanted a Toyota or a Honda but that was about it.  I was giving him a golden opportunity at that moment.

Photo credit: Yunhao Zhang

I inquired about the price of the first vehicle I encountered.  His response?  “Do you even know how much this car costs?”  Uh, no, obviously.  And now I felt like an idiot (it turned out that was a high end Toyota Avalon).  The point here is that I left the dealership within minutes after that, went directly to the Honda dealership and drove off hours later in a brand new Accord.  Oh, and I told everyone I knew where NOT to buy a Toyota.

Let’s be honest- when you think “salesperson” you automatically recall your worse sales experience and conjure up images of a fast talking, aggressive, obnoxious- if not offensive- person relentlessly following you around as you try your best to politely decline a conversation about how much you need their amazing product or service.  No one likes being “sold” to.

Interestingly, when I reflect on my experiences as a consumer, I realize that those really positive experiences with salespeople are harder to pinpoint.  Why?  Because I didn’t feel like I was being sold; I wasn’t being convinced that I wanted something I didn’t need, but rather had guidance finding something that was right for me.  It didn’t feel like a sales experience, it felt like a win-win negotiation.  Which is the way I think we all prefer it.

The truth is, we are all “salespeople”.  As mothers, we pitch ideas to our kids all the time, then we negotiate until we feel mutually satisfied with the outcome (or one of us goes to time out).  Even in those moments, we are exchanging thoughts and ideas, listening and learning from that interaction, and negotiating and empowering our children to make their own decisions.  Remember this post about getting my strong-willed daughter to finally decide to pick up her puzzle pieces?  Being a mom is the best on-the-job sales training experience there is.  And we learn the value of being consistent, efficient and opportunistic, as well as the importance of not just educating, but understanding what's important to the other person.

And it’s not just motherhood that utilizes selling skills- they are the foundation for most of our interactions in life.  Think about it...we use them in our marriages, when we date, when we interview for jobs, when we interact with peers, when we teach, when we post to Facebook, and every time we interact with other people.  Even as a consumer.  We are our own sales representative, and we all are our own unique brand.  

Photo credit: Wilfred Stanley Sussenbach

Which means, like it or not, we are ALL salespeople.  And life is a series of negotiations.  It's just a matter of what we're willing to learn and how we choose to apply our skills.

What are your thoughts?